When you confide your deepest troubles to a friend or a family member, what exactly are you seeking? Are you in search of solutions, or do you simply need a shoulder to cry on?
Reflecting on my college days and the onset of my professional career, I found myself in search of mentors. Nowadays, it’s interesting how the tables have turned, with people now looking to me for guidance.
This transition has placed me in a unique dilemma, as, in essence, I’ve remained unchanged throughout.
I’ve often considered myself somewhat lacking in empathy, which might stem from my biases or perhaps a sense of superiority over others. Age differences can exacerbate this feeling. Yet, when I observe the compassion prevalent among my peers, I recognize this deficiency within myself. It’s as though I’m pretending to be a lamb among a flock, yet inwardly, I feel like a wolf amidst them.
Although I may sympathize with others’ predicaments, I acknowledge my failure to fully grasp the depth of their experiences. And yet, despite my mature exterior, the child within me still yearns for attention.
It seems as if within me there reside many different aspects of my personality, each engaging in a relentless tug of war. Regardless of which side claims victory, there seems to be a tendency to belittle the losing party, leaving me in a perpetual state of confusion about my true self.
This internal conflict leaves me questioning: Am I genuinely inclined to understand, assist, and listen to others? Or have I morphed into the stereotypical “aunty,” notorious for lacking positivity in thoughts and words?